chiquitas spot

Archive for the ‘sex’ Category

I have been working on my nevers and finally decided to go to a strip joint last Friday, the volunteers to guide me to this virgin territory were more than eager and kept calling all afternoon to remind me about the rendezvous .I didn’t know what to wear because how could one compete with near naked women, with perfect bodies?. So I decided on my everyday way black shirt, even darker pants and boots at least this way I wouldn’t  stick out like a sore thumb…since my boys are “veterans” they decided on one club where they say the mamas are hotter .so at 9 pm we check in the joint apparently only men get to pay Chiquitas’ walk in free. The club is darkly lit and it’s very hard to recognize anyone. As we look for some place to seat I ask the boys to take me furthest from where the action will be (just incase) so we seat in a corner where you can see everything happening around you. To the casual observer the clientele is normal 23-45 year old men some still in their day suits ,nothing perverted in their look.and of course thier was the married man(i ‘ll serve my comments for this one)  so anywhoo ,at around  10 theDj/ Mcee introduces the beauties with thier so-not-original-names(how can someone imagine a name like caro having stage presence?) then i look up hoping to see someone like her:

candy_stipper_thumb.jpgpic courtesy of www.thecostumer.com/…/

you know a nurse maids uniform or a police womans uniform or maybe a long coat but this wasn’t to be ! instead of the chicks came in already undressed….completely killing the moment-atleast for me.(I thought stripping meant taking off clothes one by one?)what happened to heightening the senses first?and that not the only beef i had…they were dancing on poles that were in the middle of a table(as in the table is a round table with a pole in the middle)and the tables had been previously occupied by peeps eeeeewww!
then later i look at the mamas properly what do they mean by wearing cheap underwear like that..those street lacy boxers that cost 50 bob ,how now?.. after about an hour the strippers kept changing tables doing the same moves until it was hard to tell the difference between caro,martha and the rest… After 1 hour of watching this i decided i’d been hoaxed enough and wanted out,my boys suggested another joint but i decided sighting the same difference line .
if this clubs are going to have strippers they had better make it that, not parading polite hos as strippers…

end of rant now to the question:
can all the sexperts(or in this case men) please rise up? yes you Xs,Archer,Bomseh,pilato,bella,3N,Kip,modo,Agiasi,boyfulani,kirima and company … could you please explain what qualities a chick would have to have to be certified as good in bed? recently Archer stated that guys rate a mama like so:

1.The strokes were on point kabisa, the chic has some mad skills. Definitely worth hitting again, several times over.

2.Ish ish. Nothing spectacular. Super average.

 3.Totally wack. She’s a hopeless lay. It was like throwing a sausage down a corridor (Aco 2006)

I guess my questions here is what mad skills would this be? being able to kegel a dude?

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so the holiday is over 😦

Am back to whatever I do.and from the look of things This going to be a very a loong bad/dreadful week.

while i was away seems some people were patriotic , idle or how else would you explain the 253 forwards in one of my email address?53 of these are hate mail for PNU and ODM/RAILA….

AfterI sift thru the political hate I come to the Kaz nude pics! all from jamaaz…i just dont get it ….why would someone rejoice at anothers misfortune?the incident reminded me of a chick in campo who dumped the boyfie who in turn pasted her nude pics in all the cybers and and notice boards.The idiot even had volunteers to paint the notice boards naked……the gal was traumatised especially since the pics did there rounds faster than a bushfire and everywhere she turned people pointed,jeered and some making bold overtures…she was forced to see a shrink until she was in fifth year.

A guy who does that sort of thing is as little as they come and in my opinion they should consult Dr.frank Njenga and two of his buddies at go………

Anywhoo..i had a blast and managed to do many things from my to-do-list…like doing me :)and finally went to see the cheetah park in Athi river,finally stopped using my crutch and the hardest: officialy being introduced to Mr Brys folks(was that wierd or what?…….details later) they seemed to like me and that had led to a few wierd questions like:‘when had you planned to get hitched or how many children do you plan on having?’what was i saying? yes am freaked out……..

I also managed hang out with one of the two teenage-mothers-to-be we became fast friends especially now since none of her agemates want nothing to do with her.her baby is due in a month and somehow she had hidden this fact from her folks.and i sort of advised her to tell her mom who in turn flipped her lid and threw her out,being the “good” person i am..i housed her and acted as the go between mum and daughter.she finally moved back home and working on her relationships with the folks,choosing baby names and doing whatever else mothers-to be do.

ps
am into cologne big time and i convinced ,confused a pal to get me a victoria-don-tell-nobody perfume..and sijui am not feeling it……
this has been one long morning…managed to blog and go for my last Hepattis B jab (my left hand feels like i was being punched..)am off to the othorpeadic surgeon who sliced me up and hopping this will be it.

pps
I have been thinking…do you know how easy it is to cheat and not get caught? and no i didn’t do it …

if i knew this was going to be such a hot week i’d never had taken my holiday.so far i have managed to go to like three towns in this heat.i have a had a of of fun seeing some godforsaken places ,met a few interesting people..done some madhambis i would never tell even if my life depended on it :0)
i came back to town yesterday and found that one of the boys has let go of his mothers aproan strings and got his own ka hao..he doesnt own anything and was asking advice on how to go about getting stuff.after we all agreed that the basics were a cooker/some dishes then a fridge plus a bed.i then sugggested geting a sofa from a guy i knew then the gang was like”hell no!”they went on to explain that its easier getting sum ass from a chick who’s on your bed than on your sofa as the amount of begging would be shorter.
when will men understand that we are always in control?!

so anywhoo..am travelling a few more towns for the next week,commit some more “sins”

so be good people