chiquitas spot

random manenos…

Posted on: February 6, 2008

February(still cant pronounce right after all this years) is here, it my favorite month of the year that cos I make resolutions on by birthday, it’s the only month I eat chocolate like there is no tomorrow plus this is the only valentine my whole life that I have a date  🙂

Back to matters at hand :I was convinced that our politicians are the biggest loosers until I met this guy .he will be referred to as Kama from here on. I met Kama on Friday last week at around 2am in a hospital Emergency room.what was I doing there? Well my “loving sister” who works in a hosi asked me to deliver some food and I went so while am chilling for her to malizana with her “watejas” a frenzied crowd comes in carrying a unconscious man. There is no time to take him to private consultation so the consultation is heard by anyone who cared to listen:

DOC: whats his name?

Kamas friends: kama

DOC:what happened?

KF: amekunywa sumu

Doc: Kuna mtu anajua amekunya nini?

KF: POWERTAB…

DOC: kwa nini?

KF*with a very expression* dio asimwe na mosquioto(say this with an accent)

*giggles from eaves droppers including me *

From here on it look like a scene On ER .my sister also appears screaming some instructions.then the drama begins. All I can say is that there was a lot of retching and liquids everywhere. a very nauseating site but Kama lived to tell the story. Apparently his wife was “stressing him” because she had wanted out and he saw death the only alternative. I shouldn’t be making light of such a situation considering my best friend committed suicide by drinking poison too. but surely if someone doesn’t want to love you back si there is something called moving on?anywhoo…kama is alive n well oh and a massive hospital bill for his ass to pay .

If you need drama in Ur life id suggest you hang out in an emergency room and you wont be disappointed .

After Kama there was a guy who was brought in with his lower lip bitten off by the guy who brought him to hospital. when the patient was in consultation I was busy listening eaves dropping  to the guy and a hysterical(yeah bila aibu)girl tell thier plas what went down.

people have problems  but not for clothes( watu wana shida na siza nguo) I tell you. so this guy the biter going out with chick A lets call her sugar. let me begin from the top. sugar and bitee(guy who’s lip is gone)have been going out for a year and he recently even bought her a nokia N series phone but sugar decides to broaden horizons and has boyfi no2 who is the biter.

so on Friday Sugar is at the club with biter after calling earlier on to make sure bitee wasn’t around…lakini somewhere in the rave the water exceeded the floor(maji ikazidi unga)when Bitee shows up at the club with the boys and finds Sugar lip locked with biter in the club.an argument followed and sugar couldn’t stop it and  Biter and bitee ended up weighing each others strength(pimanaing nguvu) or if you like reducing each other madharau and somehow biter ended up biting bitees  lower lip .

 unluckily ,for  bitee ,they couldn’t stitch his bitten lip(which had been wrapped ).They could only stop the bleeding.poor guy  he has to live the rest of his life with saliva dribbling freely unless he can afford reconstruction surgery which costs and arm and a leg.Lil miss sugar cried what seemed like a river but no one consoled her…each guy (biter and bitee)had come with their pals but the poor thing didn’t have anyone to talk to considering they were calling her very deragory names like she wasn’t there.i wish I knew what happened to the couple(s) later 

My point exactly?love isnt love that tortures or tormments to that point .oh…. and yes my sis still ate the food like nothing she hadnt seen anything worth loosing her appetite for.

To other news am soliticing for girlfriends.Yeah like women …I was stock taking and  realised that I don’t have a chick I can really call “girlfriend “all i  have are chicks who are either neighbours or workmates no one I can call for ice cream or call just some gossip.so girlfriend outhere hala!…I seriously  need to stop hanging out with dudes or by my lonesome.

 ok well there is always that  sinister/selfish motive.i need someone to surpise me with a bridal shower…for real..i went for the one and only brial shower I have been to and I didn’t even know that chick I crushed (thru the ever with-it sister) and since the commitment ring has been donned am thinkin like way way ahead…well sure I have been to a stag night but its not as much fun as a bridal shower ..well for me anyway..all those activities get tired after sometime.but at the bridal shower you get to hear some truths about  marriage that freak the hell out of you,marrige I learnt here Is an oxymoron. And nothing I thought it would be  esp since am sort of opinionated selfish an and the advise this women gave translated to me sounded like “you have to be door mat -ish”:something i gave up a while.

lastly,my friend is taking trying to get me to break-up with this gal who he thought was a klande but she apparently  fell dangerously in love with him *smh* because she is clingier than  a wet T-shirt and he isnt feeling her.while he is foing that the klande is calling me trying to get me to get my pal to see she is the woman of his dream.how two adults can still play hide and seek like this is beyond me..my stand? am not being a Kofi Anan for anyone .

lastly kabisa:i have given up alchol.

have a good week all!

say your payers esp for kenya.

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30 Responses to "random manenos…"

LOL… ati he kuywad powertab dio asimwe na mosquioto(say this with an accent)..hehehe!!!
I can bet no mosquito umad him in a while!!
am sure no mosquito will touch him for like a year 🙂

Waa chicky i feel u on the galfriend vybe. i spend all my 247 wit dudez…tis kinda frustrating when i’ve got hot sizzling vybe to share (read hot gossip!) then i realise the only audience i got are dudez! as much as ey be fun and ish lyk that, they don’t know how to react and appreciate the above (hot gossip!)
i know!

good for u on the giving up of alcohol!!!
let s see how long that lasts

your post has jazzed me..weka picha ya bling
wacha i piga it then do the neccesary

interesting vibes – i don’t know how anyone would give up on life coz of losing a loved one. you Man Up and move on, si there are 6 plus billion people on this earth, ala?
my point exactly…like they say “God made every monkey with a partner”.so somewhere out there is someone for everyone

don’t give up on alcohol just yet….lol
am giving it up during lent then i’ll see how that goes…

let me tell you where else you can find drama/entertainment…on a loose day like this bored, go to the law courts…vioja mahakamani live.
i go on leave in two weeks..thank for the heads up 🙂

you went to a stag? but not…er…eh…sio…ehem…
exchuse me?weee i went as a dude

LMAO…wanichekesha…ati BITER na BITEE?!
i read u on the gal~friend issue coz niko in that kinda situation…and this gets me missing home so much coz thats where my true gal~friends are…anyway, someone kills themselves coz of ish like that??? not me, i love my breath…
life is too beautiful for having hang ups on people

interesting post. i especially loved the variety of fonts and assorted fonts sizes.
technology is testing me and it looks like it won 🙂

hehe!! no way i shall kill myself for the silly reason that mpenzi has left or is about to leave me!!
you move on to other warembos…

modo remember where we may have gone and may have found… 🙂 recovered yet?

all the best in the girlfriend quest, i would have offered myself up for the position but i fear i find meself encumbered by virtue that i am of the opposite sex…
too bad ..kwanza we’d have fun on PJ partys.

what! given up alkahol…
yes
ok so you might live longer but damn…my son was talking some shit bout quitting alkahol too….miserable bastard…anywhoo on the issue of girlfriends i wish i could hook you up coz i got lots but they are some bad bitches and can be pretty mean at times…
i know i listen to them at the office…and si this women they have issues!!..am looking for girlfriends who are mostly dude -like except they are girls …pamoja!!!

ROTFLMAO!!! Gal those direct translation have killed me! The powertab joke, Wawawawa!!!
true story nakuabia

Si you hook me up with ur siste so that i get an excuse to pelekea her lunch and observe some drama…? NO? Haya sawa tu!!
yes..she is married,mother of 1,hot as hell…..still interested? didnt think so ..

Alafu si u see me sideways, niko na swali nyeti la kuuliza wewe!
sawa..i’ll beat you that line(sema in kuyo)

PS: What exactly is labelled as ‘Hot Gossip’?
how his tone sounds fishy,how last night he wachilad a fart,how when he looks at me i wanna melt,see me sideways i tell you the x-rated ones 🙂

Haha, that’s too funny a post. Too much drama in the world.
makes life worth living

Nice digz.
thagx

For that man, someone should tell him kuna samaki wengi baharini.
i wish i could..but like he said no one”know how it feels”i just hope he opened his eyes

Hehehe, so you quit alcohol?…Let’s see.
sceptical why?am doing it during lent then revist ot later…
And congrats on acquiring (or being acquired) a valentine’s date this fembruari.
thangyu!

You are good! Drama drama and drama! That got me to a stomachache… The translations, ati weighing each others strength…

I have quit alchohol like five times now… every saturday morning when I wake up with that bad hangover I quit… but Fridays…

Chic, si you are funny! Ati water exceeded flour! You are quite creative. Drama drama drama… in what circumstance does one guy bite the other guys lip???
when his girlfriend is snatched..imagine this happened..
.
I have stopped drinking like 5 times this year… every saturday morning I wake up with a bad hanje and I quit… but friday I smile all the way….
tolerance is listed as one of my hobbies let see how far i can go..its now been 32 days,768 hours…

Wajinga ni wengi dada. Jana night i was causing for my – er – roomates that waliacha mlango wazi mbu wakaingia. Nikaambiwa ‘Basi dada tuongeze nguvu ya feni mbu waondoke’. I’m still trying to find the logic in that…
lol

Beware of girlfriends…they bite. But I’m a girl…and some people call me a friend so…lakini kama ni stag nights you’re on your own. as for Bridal showers, Kitchen parties a la dar are scary scary SCARY affairs…
kwani what happens?

lol..this was surely the comic relief break I was looking for:)

yo welcome!

yaani direct translation..only from a Kenyan..but now “Biter” chose to bite a lip instead of punching himyaani that was his first instinct???Maajabu ya Musa…and didn’t “Bitee” see the teeth coming???hehehehehe

aki you should have seen the poor guy…he was crushed

@ Modo..I concur with you on the law courts…drama!!!!

suicide???and kwanza through such a painful method..gosh..it so wasn’t worth it..

Have a super Valentines…has the man started to panic ama you have things under control (like my French housemate..lol)

am not the mushy type ..infact i dont think we have plans…just the fact that he calls to say corny things like”he can’t live without me “is awesome…i think

as for finding a “girlfriend”..good luck..there are few lovely non-fussy women out there..its just some who haribu the jina for the rest

thanks

What happened to one man’s woman? People still do these things?

society changed…..

Lakini, hata kama, I’d rather be alone than fight for someone, or worse still nijinyonge na powertab. Now I need my gal friends, no pimanaring nguvu. Muchene is better than that anytime.

hear,hear! there is someone made for everyone

Mad respect to mamas but I am not losing my life or a lip for any mama out there. Im sorry but its that simple.

some people need self love…otherwise they cant be helped

when I pick myself off the floor I will be back to comment. LOL.

The suicide thing- does not make sense. I have come to accept that it must be a rush decision people make and regret it later (but there is no later).

on the bitee…………..the song by Kenny Rogers (I think) “what I did for love” comes to mind.

The biggest motivation to get on life is others people’s misery stories such as this makes me realize that actually blessed.
You tell stories very well! Good.

You are one funny chic…. I could cross-dress and become your girlfriend just for the laughs.

Eh, about those bridals in Dar. Ok, kwanza a weddo in Dar is in four stages: Kitchen party (ama ukipenda bridal shower, where we give the chick gifts of household items to start her home aka furnish her house for her); send off party, which is a reception with champagne and a wedding cake, then weddo yenyewe na reception official.

Now, when you get invited to a wedding, you get a card for each separate stage, and the card specifies how much you need to contribute, usually a minimum of 20G in tsh. Plus a gift for each stage. Na ukizusha au ukatae kulipa, wewe ni Mkenya.

so, the kitchen party, was, eh, sijui niseme! Number 1. Those buibuis hide a LOT of good stuff, and I say that as a chick. Then, kama umezoea kuona mabosi in buibuis, it’s a little scary to see them all – eh – without. Kwanza the hair. Alafu the curves (acha kuniangalia hivyo, am straight chick but i ain’t blind). As we say here, Mama yangu!!! OH, and the shoes, waaa!

Alafu, the bride is given advice like “Unajua mle nyumbani mna vichakavichaka, na unajua wanaume wanapenda mpira, kwa hivyo acha nikupe siri. Ni muhimu sana kufyeka vichaka vyote ili mumeo asikwame anpocheza mpira, asije akajikatakata kwa mwiba au kukamatwa na nyoka.”

“Dada siri ya pili, naomba muache kuzima taa. Mtakulaje kwa giza? Mnaweza kukosa midomo mkaweka chakula kwenye sikio”

And finally, the taarab comes on. And these ladies..eh, the bosses et al, the respectable ladies only ever seen in buibuis, these truly African women – and am talking about coke bottles 14 inches thick…start their taarab.

have you been to coast night? This is worse. dada i’m talking about madhes in plus size dirty dancing with chairs and poles. It’s like a strip club plus clothes minus men. I’m still traumatised, and it was three months ago! i am NOT doing that again. Ever.

Wait, wasnt I here bafore?

Halaaaaafu, poor bitee, he should sue someone! and am not even gonna start on the power tab Hindiot!

I can be your girlfriend but mambo of ati sijui bridal shower, count me out. But ice cream hebu bring it on! STAT

I dont have a valentine (BOO HOO)

Well, well. What exactly happens in those bridal shower things? I would give my ear to know 🙂

And just where is your Valentine post? [shriek!]

i like the tittle random manenos! my makendes penda!

lol ati you are not been a koffi anan for anyone! lol

He heee. no koffi annan 4 anybody… funny…

imagine I did! its fun, visit mine

You’ve been tagged ! Hey don’t look at me, i didn’t start it! Ask Doozie for details.

don’t say I told you but I hear you have been tagged by 3N

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